The Lidl Experiment
What Happens When a Waitrose Family Shops at Lidl for a Week?
#46. Shop at Lidl for a Week
My son doesn’t eat peanut butter. He eats cashew butter. And organic blueberries and avocado on sourdough and Waitrose ‘Essential’ brioche.
What a twerp. I think it’s high-time we brought his diet down to earth a bit, don’t you? And anyway, have you seen grocery prices these days?
And with that, we in the Fagan household (mostly me) committed enthusiastically (mostly me) to spending one whole week doing our food shopping at Lidl and/or Aldi.
I came along for the inaugural shop. Standing outside Lidl, reusable Waitrose bags in hand, we bumped into our first setback - £1 for the trolleys. I know times are tough but are people really stealing trolleys from Lidl? For what? I went to Cash Converters a lot in my youth but I never saw a crackhead trying to fob off a trolley. Jasmine procured some change and we ventured in.
There was rubbish scattered on the floor beneath my feet, while above, bright, colourful signs loomed over me, giving vibrancy to the term ‘cheap and cheerful’. My darling wife informed me Lidl is famous for its bakery so I should get something. I approached the beige treats and gingerly fished off a crumpled brown paper bag stuck to the top of a Belgian bun and wrapped it up.
Nearby, I saw a brownie with a bite taken out of it.
Next, the chilled produce. I was surprised to see that even Lidl sells poke bowls these days. I was also surprised to see they stocked something called a Sharon fruit, which I had never heard of. Recalling an ex-girlfriend called Sharon, I wondered if the fruit were bitter or tart.
‘Wow, Patrick!’ Jasmine gasped. ‘A pack of Portobello mushrooms is 60p!’
Yes, it was cheap, but they had a Lidl Deluxe range (basically a Tesco normal), copycat brands like knock-off seashell chocolates with Gross on the box, and more expensive options for the connoisseur. But, to Jasmine’s dismay, they did not have the ‘Tiffany blue’ eggshell eggs she likes to buy from Waitrose.
‘Well, eggs is eggs’, I told her. She didn’t laugh.
Next – the famous ‘middle of Lidl’, the aisle centres where you can buy a dog’s Christmas stocking or a 4.5kg scented candle, evaporating any meagre savings you might have made by shopping at Lidl. We bought a whole bunch of crap because it was cheap. A Maisy advent calendar? Just £9.99?
In the end, we spent £81.15.
Shopping successfully procured, we loaded up the car, got nice and warm, and headed to Waitrose. The challenge didn’t start until the morning, after all – time for a nice dinner first.
That evening, I tried the Belgian bun. It was stale and sickly sweet. I chucked it in the bin and enjoyed a Waitrose mince pie, ‘rich and buttery buerre noisette pastry, filled with rich mincemeat made with apricots, glacé Amarena cherries, and almonds, laced with Cognac’.
The next day, the moment of truth. Jasmine made a curry. The chicken was a little gristly and less flavourful, but the sauce was very nice (we did shell out the extra 20p for Lidl Deluxe). The poppadums were perfectly flat and smooth and tasted of nothing but the seed oils they were fried in. All in all, it was basically fine. For afters, I sampled a marzipan chocolate. It tasted like cigarettes.
I wasn’t there for the other shops (my wife and I have a deal – I make the money and she spends it) but assume they all went as per the above. I was there for the other meals, and can confirm the same.
After five days, we called it, and went to Tesco as a compromise. Close enough.
And the result? Normally we spend about £150-£200 a week on groceries. This week, we spent £130.14. So - was it worth it?
No.